Job Ads Definitions
COMPETITIVE SALARY:
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:
We have no time to train you; you will have to introduce yourself to your co-workers.
MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTATED:
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:
Each night and each weekend.
DUTIES WILL VARY:
Anyone in the office will boss you around.
CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:
You will need it to replace the 3 people who have just left.
REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:
You will have the responsibilities of a manager but without the pay or respect.
ABILITY TO HANDLE A HEAVY WORKLOAD:
Whine and you're fined.
SEEKING ENTHUSIASTIC FUN HARD-WORKING PEOPLE:
You need to be living with your parents so you won't mind being paid a student-level salary.
CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:
We don't pay enough to expect you to dress up.
FUN WORK ENVIRONMENT:
Your co-workers will be insulted if you don't drink with them.
A DRUG-FREE WORK ENVIRONMENT:
We booze it up at the company parties.
SALES POSITION REQUIRED MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER:
We're not going to supply you with leads; there's no basic salary; you'll wait 30 days for your commission.